Intro

I had a unique interview experience that was wildly different from the normal leetcode-style interviews that I find the norm. It was a take-home project with an emphasis on designing a product and building it. TLDR; I failed, which while disappointing and aggravating, I am taking as a learning experience.

The Crux

For this interview process, I failed at the beginning: the design phase. Not for necessarily a lack of technical depth or knowledge, but for a lack of being able to communicate well (kudos to the interviewers for providing feedback I can reflect on). A problem I have struggled with for years and one that I believe gets exponentionally worse when I am nervous or emotional. It is feedback I have gotten a lot, "You aren't answering the question", "You are rambling", "I am confused", etc.. Which is extremely frustrating and disappointing for others to have to experience, and honestly feels worse for me when I am failing to be understood or I thought I understood them, but didn't.

The Future

So what am I going to do about it? Well one, I am going to practice and fail more. I believe growth into any skill, whether software, communication, language-learning, etc, all require opportunities to fail. While this is not great for interviewing, by this I mean repeatedly failing, it is something worth investing in through other avenues. It can be asking my current team to give me more opportunities to communicate designs and try to take feedback where possible. It can be through this blog to practice organized writing. It can even be through speech and/or communication classes.

Ultimately, I am just fed up with making the same mistakes and having the same problems regarding communication and getting my points across. The important thing from all of this, I feel at least, is that we all have shortcomings, and this is a big one for me. If I want to advance my career or avoid confusion in daily life, I need to find a way to communicate better with other humans and not force people to try and understand me. Hopefully I improve!